Testing, testing. One, two, three.
Is it working, Kev?
# Stick it up, mister!
54-46 Was My Number
# Hear what I say, sir, yeah
# No, no, no, no, no
# Yeah
# Get your hands in the air, sir!
# Woo-hoo, yeah
# And you will get no hurt, mister
# No, no, no
# I said, yeah # I said, yeah
# What did I say? # What did I say?
# Don't you hear? I said, yeah # Yeah, yeah
# Listen to what I say # To what I say
# Do you believe I would take something with me
# And give it to the policeman?
# I wouldn't do that
# And if I do that, I would say
# Sir, come on and put the charge on me
# I wouldn't do that
# No, I wouldn't do that
# Huh
# I'm not a fool to hurt myself
# So I was innocent of what they done to me
# They was wrong
# Ah, listen to me one more time, they were wrong, huh
# Oh, yeah
# Give it to me one time
# Huh
# Give it to me two time
# Huh, huh
# Give it to me three time, yeah
# Huh, huh, huh
# Give it to me four time
# Huh, huh, huh, huh
# 54-46 was my number
# Oh, yeah
# Right now, someone has that number
# One more time, baby
# 54-46
# Was my number # Was my number
# Right now, someone has got that number
# All right
# I said, yeah # I said, yeah
# Listen to what I say # Listen to what I say
# Oh, I said, hear me now # Yeah, yeah
# Listen to what I say # Listen to what I say
# Oh, give it to me one time
# Huh
# Give it to me two time
# Huh, huh
# Give it, give it, give it, give it, give it,
# Give it, give it, give it, give it
# No, no, no, no
# Whoa
# 54-46
# Was my number # Was my number
# Right now, someone has got that number
# All right
# I said, yeah # I said, yeah
# Listen to what I say # Listen to what I say
# Oh, I said hear me now # Yeah, yeah...
...they think it's attractive
to offer to the young
a future wholly controlled by the operation of the socialist state...
...two days for me, I think. - Next Tuesday?
Yeah.
Wa-hey, nice flares, matey!
Piss off.
- Are you gonna buy that? - Yeah. Yeah, one sec, mate.
Come on. Bring it over.
Just give me a minute.
I'll just check...
- It's not a library, you know. - I was fricking reading that.
- You what? - I said, I was fricking reading it.
- Just go. - What?
Just go.
What about my Cola Cubes?
You're not gonna get any. Now, just go, all right?
Cola Cubes.
I know who you are and I know your mum. Go. Now.
- Cola Cubes. - Are you gonna go or not?
- No. - Right, OK, I'll call the police.
- Go on, then. - I mean it, I'm gonna call 'em.
- Go on, then. - I mean it.
- Go on, then. - We'll see.
All right. I'm going.
Oh, and you're banned.
Oh, and you're a mong.
Hey, see you, Janice!
Oh, God, what a loser.
Loser!
- Look at that twat. - There?
Fucking hell, look at them flares. Goof!
Goofy.
Oi, oi.
Talking to me?
What?
Never knew Keith Chegwin had a son.
Piss off.
- What the fuck are they? - These? I'm wearing 'em for a bet.
- What's your excuse? - Cheeky bastard.
- Woodstock's that way, pal. - Fuck off.
At least I don't look like Count Dracula.
- Think you're funny, you little spaz? - Yeah. Yeah.
- Wanna hear a fucking joke, yeah? - Yeah, go on, then.
How many people can you fit in a Mini?
I don't fucking know.
Three in the back, two in the front
and your fucking dad in the ashtray.
You fucker!
Fight, fight, fight, fight!
- I'll fucking murder you. - Get off!
- You fucking... - Get up!
- Fucking... - Shut up!
You fucking bastard. What the fuck are you bothered about?
You fucking...
Do not use that language. Headmaster's office now.
I'm fed up with you.
Argh.
Aargh!
Argh!
There's a disco today, Harvey.
But you won't be going.
Now get out!
Come in, Field.
Tainted Love
# For I toss and turn I can't sleep at night...
# This tainted love you've given I give you all a boy...
it's gotta be smoother.
- Make it smooth. - That's nice.
That were nice. Oh, yeah.
- Now we got a rhythm going. - Piss off. I just wanna light my fag.
For God's sake.
- All right, mate? - All right.
'Ey up, what's the matter?
Nothing.
What's with t'face ache? You look upset. What's to do?
It's people picking on me, taking the mick out of me.
Oh, mate, you're breaking my heart. Sit down for five minutes.
- Why? - Woody, look at them flares.
See what I mean? That's what I fucking mean, there.
You can see he's upset. Will you behave with the flare comments?
- They're bad... - Come on. Five minutes.
- Just come and sit down, mate. - But you'll all just pick on me.
- Everyone does. - Oh, come and sit down, mate.
I feel bloody sorry for you. Just five minutes.
Just give me five minutes to make you feel better.
Come on, mate. Bloody hell! It can't be that bad, eh?
So what's this? Who's picking on you, lad?
Some lad at school.
- What's his name? - Harvey.
Harvey?
What sort of a bloody girl's name is Harvey?
Hello. I'm Harvey. And I've come to give you gyp.
I've got one of these for you, Sonny Jim.
I've got one of those for you. My name is Harvey.
You're drawing a fine line.
You're drawing a fine line. Eh?
Bloody hell!
- Where the frig have you been? - Bloody Ada!
Took me an hour to get someone to go in for me.
You had to wait a bloody hour for that pie? Give me that shit.
For God's sake.
- Who the fuck's he? - What is your name?
I'm Shaun.
Shaun, I'm Woody, mate. Nice to meet you.
That there's Milky, my main man.
Pukey's a nutcase. Don't wind him up.
That's Kez. He's pretty chilled out.
And this fat idiot's Gadget.
You are, Gadget, you are.
Anyway, Shaun, move. You're in my seat.
What?
Move.
Gadget, mate, out of all the places to sit, you want to sit there?
- Yeah, I do. Shall I move?
What are you asking him for? Move, now.
- He don't have to bloody move. - Fucking does. Get out.
Oi, it's a free country. You sit there if you want to sit there.
- Have you seen these? - Woody, tell him.
Woody, tell 'em.
Get the fuck...
Calm down.
Will you just calm down?
Fucking behave. You need to learn when to chill out.
What...?
Get the fuck out of my seat now!
Out of this tunnel or I'll make your life a living fucking hell.
- Fuck off! - Fuck out!
- You're a pain in my arse. - You're all a bunch of bastards!
Oh, fuck off!
You prick! Shaun, come back, mate.
- Sit down. - Oh, bloody hell.
Shaun! Sh...
Oh, I feel bad. I feel bad now.
Well done, well done. Are you happy with your fucking pie now, you prick?
You're a frigging bully, Gadget.
see what you can do with this.
What C is a fodder plant...
- Hiya, love. - Hello.
- You all right? - Yeah.
Had a good day at school?
Shaun?
What's wrong, love? Shaun, come here.
What?
Sit down. I want to have a word with you.
Why?
Please, son, I want to talk to you.
What?
What have you done to your face?
Nothing.
You've got all scratches all over your face. Have you been fighting?
No, I did it on the way home from school.
You didn't. You're lying to me. How have you done it?
It was a boy at school.
He made a joke about Dad, so I hit him.
Well, what did he say about Dad?
I don't wanna say it, Mum. It's disgusting.
Shaun, I want to know what he said.
I've been picked on three times today.
All because of my trousers.
What's wrong with your trousers?
Look at the fucking size of them!
Stop swearing. There's nothing wrong with them.
- Your dad bought you them. - They're too big for me!
If you didn't want to wear them, you should have put your school ones on.
It's non-uniform day, Mum.
What do you want me to do, Shaun? I don't know what to do.
- We could move away. - We can't move away.
We're not moving from anywhere. We live here and we're staying here.
I don't like it here, Mum.
I liked it better when we were with Dad.
Well, I liked it better when we was with Dad, but Dad's gone now.
Yes!
Mrs Thatcher's visiting The Antrim
very close to two key events in the War, for the ship.
Just over there, in the Falklands Sound,
she was hit aft by a 1,000lb bomb, which, fortunately, didn't explode,
and there, on Fanning Head,
heavy bombardment from The Antrim took out a key Argentine position.
Like the Army, the Navy is still taking the threat of another Argentine attack
very seriously...
...as well as these Oerlikon guns, the destroyer is armed...
...sea slug, sea cat...
What the fuck?
What do you want, Gadget? You've just nearly put my window through.
Woody wants to know if you're coming hunting.
Hunting? Why?
Because he feels sorry for what happened the other day.
And he just wants to know if you're coming out.
If I come, you're just gonna kick my head in in the middle of a field.
Woody said if I come within five feet of you, he's gonna kick the shit out of me.
And why on earth are you dressed like that?
We always dress like this.
You look stupid.
I know, but it's just a laugh that we have.
I've got you some stuff. Come on.
It's not a trick, is it, Gadget? Woody really wants me to come?
It's no trick, honest. Please?
- All right. I'll be down in a minute. - Hurry up!
Hurry up, you. Give me a hand.
- Fuck it. - Come on, Tubs!
Hurry up, cos Gadget won't get over it, will he?
- Come on. - Come on. Get up.
Here you are. Gadget, have that. Have this.
- Gadget! - Gadget, have this.
I'll have that there, mate.
No, I'm all right.
- Oh, man. Woo! - I wanted that!
Woo! Woo! Woo-oo!
Come on!
- Where are you going, Gadge? Whoa-oa-oah!
Woo!
Woo-hoo! Woo!
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Fuck, yeah! Fucking do it!
Woo!
Woody!
Go on! Fucking do it!
Do it again and again!
- You fucking daft bastard. - You fat bastard.
Go on!
Hey!
Fucking do it! Do it!
Aah!
Shaun!
Aah!
Come on!
Come on, Shauny! Come on, Shaun!
Come on, Shaun!
Where are we going?
I'll get you a good seat.
Woo!
Get up them stairs.
Shaun! Shaun, Shaun, Shaun!
Quick!
Come on. Quickly. Quickly. Ssh!
Where the fuck have yous gone? Come on.
I can't be doing with this, lads.
I'm not in the mood for this.
I know yous are in here, I'm not stupid.
So, come out.
Fucker!
Classical!
Classical.
- Classic. Classic. Classic.
Gold, mate. Liquid gold. Brilliant.
That was classic! Classic, classic.
Oi, oi, oi! What's all that about, dickhead, eh?
What's the deal with you, eh?
- He shot me. - I shot you as well.
Come on, Shauny.
- Bloody hell, Gadget. - What d'you do that for?
Look how yous have been treating me all day.
I had to carry all the bags.
All of yous running off on me, hiding on me.
Listen to me. He's a young lad. He's had a fucking bad week.
So, we're bringing him with us to show him a bloody good time
and you just backhanded him round t'head.
I'm disappointed, mate.
You're all favouritising him.
I feel like I've gone down in the ranks since he's come.
What ranks?
I'm sorry if I've took your place, mate. I really am.
And if you really want me to go and give you your spot back, I'll just go.
Don't, mate. Please.
- I'll go. He don't like me. - No, don't.
He don't know what he's saying.
It's not that I don't like you, mate. I think you're great. It's just...
I'm having a shitty time and...
- Come on. Shake hands. - I've been where you are and...
Less of this. It's nonsense, this. We're mates here. Shake his hand.
Come on. Good lad. That's what I'm all about. Yeah.
Come here, come here. Give us a bloody hug, come on.
Bloody hell. Come on, all of yous. All of yous, get in here.
Bloody hell, my arse! Who's that on my arse?
Who's that? Calm it down.
Bloody hell, Gadge. Come on, mate.
Morning Sun
# Way out in the morning sun
# There lies my baby, she was waiting so long
# Aah aah-aah-aah
# Oh, she sing for the sweet melody
# Oh, Lord, I could hear the harmony
# Aah-aah-aah-aah aah-aah-aah...
Wait for me, love.
- I'll see you, chicken. - See ya.
Them.
- Which ones? - The big red ones.
Oh, you're not having them, sweetheart. Look at the size of 'em.
Oh, come on, Mum. You said.
No, Shaun, they look like thug boots. They're awful.
Come on, Mum. You promised me.
Why don't you get some of them that you've got in blue?
Cos I don't like these. I want them ones, Mum. Come on. You promised.
- They'll rub on your shin. - They'll only be about that.
Be better in my size.
Come on. Where is she?
- Right. - Well, that was nice timing.
I spoke too soon.
I hurt my shoulder back there. Been ferreting about for ages.
- Are you all right, love? - Pulled something in my shoulder.
Now, then, if I can just have that for a second...
- Let me have that, sweetheart. - I want to hold it.
I'll just have that. Mum, shall I just...?
- Yeah. - I'll just put that down there.
Ducky, darling, the ones that you're looking at, these boots...
- Yeah? ...now, they're adult sizes
and you're a size four.
But these have just come in from London.
Are you ready for these?
These are fantastic.
- What the...? - Oh, look at them, Shaun.
They're absolutely lovely.
- Do you want to hold one? There. - Oh, my God.
- They're nice, aren't they? - They're lovely, them.
Oh, they look lovely.
- Try 'em on. - Where's the "Doc Marten" sign?
These ones, cos they're special and they're from London,
they don't have the Doc Marten sign on these - they're too special for that.
- It says "Tompkins" in it. - The ones from London say Tompkins.
Everywhere else say "Dr Martens".
- I love them. - These ones are special.
- Do you sell a lot of them? - Yeah. Go like hot cakes.
Do you want to try one on? Shall we?
I fucking want them.
- If you swear... I'm sorry. - It's all right.
- Shaun, don't swear. - I want them ones.
- Listen, you can... - I don't want them.
Chicken, don't upset your mum, eh? Let's try 'em on.
Are you ready, Shaun? - Yeah.
- Are you sure? - Yeah.
- You don't seem very confident. - Just do it.
Your mum's not gonna come round, is she, and whack my door down?
No. Just fricking do it.
Right. Here we go.
- Get that mop off. - It's coming.
It's coming off.
- Oh, eh. Ooh!
Flippin' heck. Eh.
- You have a right pink head. - We're getting going now.
- Stop fidgeting. - You're doing a good job, mate.
Oh, mate, it looks better already, that.
- Don't it, Milk? - Definitely. Definitely.
- You're looking good. - Head down.
Oh, there's loads of it. It's just never-ending.
Don't be rough with him, Lol. He's only a baby.
- Put your head up. - You just told me to put it down, Lol.
And what an hairline, girls, eh?
Don't forget that bit.
I can see it.
Honestly, mate, it's sterling.
Get it off.
Really smart, in't he? In't he smart, eh?
- He does look good. - Mate, I'm well impressed.
There we go, mate. That's you done.
Look at that!
Brush him down. He looks like a Yeti!
- Oh, mate, so smart, that. - That's good, that.
Honestly, mate, you look sterling.
- So, am I in the gang now? - Well, not yet.
Get your shirt on. Let's see your Ben Sherman.
I... I ain't got a Ben Sherman.
- You telling me you've not got a shirt? - No.
You told me to get jeans and the boots.
Are you having a laugh? You can't go out all nipply, can you?
You're gonna have to come back next week. I'll see you, mate.
- Honestly, have I really gotta go? - Yeah, really, really.
Go on. You're gonna have to get off.
Shut t'door behind you, there's a good lad.
Oh, hang on, I forgot about summat.
I were fucking lying!
Come here and give me a big hug. Come here, fella.
I'm really proud of you, mate. You look brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
Get that body covered up before t'girls go mad!
Ooh!
Amazing. Bang on.
Lol picked that for you.
- Look at that. - It's a good fit, that. It's a good fit.
Let's have a look at you.
Ah, mate.
What a transformation!
He looks dead cute.
Pleased with it?
- Look at that. - Ah, mate.
Bloody hell, here he is. - Gadget!
Look at this. - What? Who are you?
Oh-ho-ho, Shaun!
Oh-ho-ho! Look at that. Come here.
That's it. Good lad, Gadge.
Well done, mate.
Louie Louie
# Louie, Louie
# Oh, my baby
# Louie, Louie
# Oh, my baby
# You know what I mean
# Louie, Louie
# We're gonna sail the sea
# No, no, no, no, no
# Now I'm finding a girl
# Louie, Louie # Louie, Louie
# Hey, let me hear you now
# Louie, Louie
# Oh, baby
# I've got to go
# Oh, yeah
# Let me tell you again
# Louie, Louie
# Oh, baby
# Now, I'm finding a girl
# Louie, Louie
# Oh, she look so sweet
# No
# No, no, no, no, no
# Louie, Louie
# You can talk to me
# Hey, let me hear you now
# Louie, Louie
# Louie
# Tell me
# Tell me, baby
# Come on, now
# All right, now
# Oh, baby...
'Ey up, eh?
Home sweet home.
- It's all right round here, Shaun. - It's a nice area, mate.
Cheers for today. It's been the best day of my life.
Aw.
Fella, man, you are more than welcome.
And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Any time.
- Tell him. - Definitely. Any time, mate.
- Come here, you. Any time, day or night.
Oh, oh! Woo!
- Wa-hey! - You've been practising!
Cheers for the haircut, Lol.
No worries. You make sure you come to me when it needs redoing.
- Cheers for the shitty tea, Gadget. - Get you!
Shaun?
Yeah?
Come here, please.
I just want to go straight to bed, Mum.
Come here, please. You're two hours late.
- Please, Mum. - Shaun, just come here!
Oh, my God.
Mum, please.
Please, Mum.
- Shaun, come on. - Oh, man.
- Oh, Mum, please. - I'm not messing around.
Now, in.
In you go, you.
- Eh, Shaun! - Shaun, mate!
- Oh. - Oh.
Who's Lol?
Me.
What have you done to his hair?
I... I did ask him, before I did it, if... if you was all right with it.
Don't you think you should have asked me?
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
Shaun, did I not ask you if it was all right?
If he said, "Jump off a cliff", would you do that?
No.
To be honest, you all look a bit... old to be hanging around with him.
I'm only in the er... year bel... above in school.
- Are you joking? - No.
I've got problems.
Yeah, well, you will have problems if you touch his hair again.
I'm really sorry. - Who's Woody?
Behave.
- I'm Woody. I'm sorry, love. - No, it's fine.
It's erm...
I just wanted to thank you. He said he's being bullied and you'd helped him out.
- You're welcome. - Yeah, I really appreciate that.
And the clothes and stuff. I think he likes 'em. I don't mind that, at all.
But the hair is not good.
I'm really sorry.
I am. I wouldn't have done it if I knew you didn't like it.
Listen, I'm gonna leave him here with you.
I'm gonna trust you, Shaun.
All right? Give us a kiss.
- See you later. Nice to meet you. What's your name, love?
- Cynthia. - Nice to meet you, Cynthia.
Nice to meet you all.
- See you in a bit, Shaun. - See you, love.
- See you, later. - Bye, Mum.
You idiot!
You shit yourself.
What?
- You shit yourself. You did. - I didn't shit myself.
Hey, here he is!
- Where have you been? - I've been getting a drink.
- You've been gone an hour. - Look how pissed he is. Babycham?
Have you had it through a straw?
Wakey-wakey!
Pissed as a fart. Look at him.
You fancy Smell, don't you?
- Ah! - No.
Do you like Smell?
Listen, I think, Shaun... I think you've got a great chance.
- Oh, aye, love. - You ain't got nothing to lose.
- Go on. - She can only say no, mate.
You wanna give it a crack?
This can be a beautiful thing.
- Oh, my God. Fuckin' hell. - Boob height.
That might be the perfect height.
Would you...
like to take a turn up the garden with me?
Oh, that's sweet.
You are, you're a little sweetheart.
I told you. It's making me emotional.
Ladies first.
Come on, then. - Watch it.
- Ooh, sorry, mate. - It's all right.
- Look at the sky. - This is perfect, this is.
Look at the moonlight. It's beautiful.
Like you.
That is so cute.
You're a real charmer, you are.
Careful.
it were just...
What the fuck's that?
That sounds like the coppers, that does.
Gary.
Gadget!
It's Gadget's mum and dad.
Get the fuck up, Gadge. Listen to me. I want you to be sober. Yeah?
Sober.
All nice, good, sober.
- I am sober. - Of course you are.
Fucking hide all the weed an' that, Milk.
Hello?
- Aaargh! - Get fucking out!
Outside now!
If you want us to turn the music down, we'll turn it down.
It's too fucking late for that!
These three.
Now get fucking up! Come on.
I'm coming, just... - Not you. You.
Get outside!
Woody! - Now!
Come on!
- It's all right. - Kes, get up.
Yaaah!
Look at him! Fucking hell, Combo!
Fucking hell, look at you!
Look at the fucking size of him.
Wow! Fucking look at you!
- Oh, fucking hell! - Fucking look at you, man!
- Fucking hell. - I missed you, man.
Fuck off, man. You fucking gave me a heart attack, you bastard.
Who the fuck's he?
- Banjo. - Banjo.
Three and a half years with this fucking big bastard.
You lovely man.
Tell you what, there's fuck all that this man hasn't seen.
Banjo, yeah? Thanks for looking after him, mate.
- Look at the size of him, mate. - Always ready to have a go.
Meggy! How are you, lad?
- How are you, mate? - I'm all right.
Milk, fucking hell.
You shit me up there for a minute.
Listen to me now. This dude, here,
he spent three years in the pen for me, he never said nothing.
If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be with you guys now.
So, the utmost respect and I mean it.
I mean it.
Look at this, eh?
Look at you. Fucking hell! You've blossomed, haven't you, love?
- How are you doing? - Not too bad. How are you?
All right. Easy, easy. That's my other half, that.
- It's my other half, like. - Nice one, mate.
I'm happy for yous.
Are you all right?
Yeah.
You look a bit nervous.
I'm not gonna do anything you don't want me to.
Have you ever done this before?
Done it once.
In Germany.
In Germany?
Why did you go to Germany?
I was...
in Ger... Germany with my dad.
What did you do in Germany with this girl?
Just kissed her.
Did you? Was she pretty?
Prettier than me?
- No way. - Really?
Well, that's really cute of you.
Do you want a kiss?
We'll leave it today.
You might look about four, but you kiss like a forty-year-old.
You're dead sensitive.
Are you all right?
Are you sure?
Do you want me to kiss you again?
Do you wanna suck my tits?
- Tell 'em a story. - All right, if yous are making me.
All right, it took a little bit of time.
- But we did end up running things. - We certainly did.
I mean, it's just... I mean, for three weeks, right,
this fucking wog...
Right? Proper horrible.
Sorry, mate, sorry.
Didn't mean nothing by it.
You know, just slip of the tongue, like.
Sorry. This, you know, this brown gentleman...
...who... he was a bully, he was a horrible bully.
No matter what colour he was, he was a bully.
- And I hate bullies. Don't I, Wood? - Yeah.
I can't stand them, man. I can't stand 'em.
But for three weeks, right, this fella was robbing my pudding.
What kind of pudding was it?
Doesn't matter what pudding it was.
The pudding's not the point.
The point is, he was taking my pudding off me.
And I just thought, "Nah, I'm not having it. I don't care.
You're not getting my pudding, that's it."
So, I grabbed it and I've gone, "No, mate, no, you're not having it."
He was like...
"White boy...
Give me your pud-pud."
Proper! Do you know what I mean? And I've just thought, "No, man."
Nah, he did, right.
Eh!
Look at t'moosh on him. - Smell his finger.
And who's been bloody smooching?
Come here, Shaun! Come on, man.
I've got someone I want you to meet. Come and stand here.
Now, listen to me. This is a very special friend of mine.
Combo, Shaun.
Newest recruit.
Shaun. Combo.
What are you doing?
Just want to shake your hand.
Did you?
Are you a proper little skinhead, then, yeah?
Yeah.
You look like a little Action Man.
Like a little Barbie doll. You're dressed up an' all that. Look.
What?
I'm only messing with you, you little fucker.
I'm only messing with you.
He's all right. - You're all right.
Nice one, lad. Sit down, anyway, I'm telling a story.
Sit next to Milky.
Anyway, where was I? What... Where was I?
You were on about that er... "brown gentleman"
stealing your "pud-pud".
That's right, yeah. Yeah. So, I've said, "No, you're not having it."
This one day, right, I've been grafting all morning,
just shovelling shit, constantly, all morning, non-stop.
Weren't I? And I'm fucking starving.
# gentle piano
You know, like that proper hunger.
And I'm thinking, "Right, just eat my pudding, just go and eat my pudding."
I've just finished the last fucking mouthful and then,
this big, black, sweaty hand
has just gone wallop, right in my pudding.
Do you know what I mean?
Proper big cigar fingers, all over my fucking crumble and custard...
I just thought, "No, I'm not having it, I don't care.
You're not getting my pudding, that's it."
I just took his hand out and just looked him right in the face and I've gone...
Woody.
So, last night was good fun, weren't it?
- Don't start. - I'm just saying, a really good night.
I know what sort of a bloody night it was. It were awkward.
It was er... a little on the tense side.
I know, mate, I'm sorry.
I knew he'd do it. I knew he'd have to throw his bloody weight around.
Has to be number one.
He were like that before he went in. Nowt's frigging changed, at all.
Hang on. Wait. He hardly did anything wrong, anyway.
- I thought he was all right. - I've got an idea.
How about you climb out of his arse for five minutes, Puke, eh?
Trust you to fucking jump on his dick.
I'm not. I'm just saying, he was just telling a story.
You asked for a story, he told it you.
I'll tell you a story if you don't shut your mouth.
All right, boys?
- You all right, Combo? - All right, Gadge.
- Puke. - All right, mate.
'Ey up. What's up?
- Can I just have a little word with you? - I've got a brew coming.
- Only be two minutes. Come 'ed. - Bastard.
Woody, don't be long cos I wanna get off.
- All right, love. - Be two minutes, Lol.
All right, lad?
I said, "All right?"
What was that for? That hurt!
- Woody, hurry up. - I will, love, yeah.
Milky, I'd watch it. I think summat's gonna kick off.
Don't worry. I'm more than ready.
You're making a big deal out of nothing, anyway.
- He's all right. - He's not.
Kel!
Kelly, you don't even know him.
- What's up? You all right, Woods?
All right, lad.
- Go on, then. What's happened? - We've to...
We've to bob round tomorrow morning.
I tell you, I shouldn't be here, you know. This don't feel good, at all.
Look at the size of that brew. Who drinks a brew that big?
I bet you all thought I was a right fucking horrible, horrible, horrible
little bastard the other day, didn't you?
- A little bit. - A bit?
Tell the truth, Wood, man. I was fucking horrible, weren't I?
- A bit of a bastard, man. - Yeah.
Yeah, well, you were a snake.
You were a fucking serpent from the Bible, weren't you?
Do you wanna know why, Wood? Do you want me to tell you why?
Yeah?
Cos see that man, there, Milky?
That man there
took abuse off me.
And I said some horrible things, Milk, and I'm fucking sorry.
You let me abuse him.
And what did you do? What did you do, Wood?
- I didn't do anything. - I can't hear you.
- I didn't do nothing. - Exactly. Nothing. Fuck all.
Neither did any of yous.
Not one of yous stood up and made yourself count for that man there.
And that was fucking wrong.
Milk, honest to God, I'm really glad you came here today.
And I mean that, mate, I really mean that.
Cos I've got one question to ask you. Just one question.
When you've heard it, if you want to leave, you can leave, that's fine by me.
But I've got one question to ask you.
Do you consider yourself
English or Jamaican?
English.
Lovely. I love you for that. That's fucking great. I'm proud, man.
Learn from him. That's a proud man, there.
That's what we need, man.
That's what this nation has been built on.
Proud men. Proud fucking warriors.
Two thousand years, this little tiny fucking island
has been raped and pillaged
by people who have come here and wanted a piece of it.
Two fucking world wars, men have laid down their lives for this.
For this, and for what?
So we can stick our fucking flag in the ground and say,
"Yeah, this is England
and this is England
and this is England."
And for what?
For what now?
Eh, what for?
So we can just open the fucking floodgates and let them all come in?
And say, "Yeah, come on, come in.
Get off your ship. Did you have a safe journey? Was it hard?
Here y'are, here's a corner, why don't you build a shop?
Better still, why don't you build a shop and then build a church?
Follow your own fucking religions. Do what you want."
When there's single fucking parents out there, who can't get a fucking flat
and they're being given to these...
And I'm gonna say it, cos you're gonna have to fucking hear it.
We're giving the flats to these fucking Pakis. Right?
Who've got 50 and 60 in a fucking flat on their own.
Right? We're giving that to them.
There's three and a half million unemployed out there.
Three and a half million of us, who can't find fucking work.
Cos they're taking them all. Cos it's fucking cheap labour.
Cheap and easy labour.
Fucking cheap and easy, which makes us cheap and easy.
Three and a half fucking million!
It's not a joke. It's not a fucking joke.
And that Thatcher sits there in her fucking ivory tower
and sends us on a fucking phoney war!
The Falklands?
The fucking Falklands?
What the fuck's The Falklands?
Fucking innocent men, good fucking strong men.
Good soldiers, real people losing their lives,
going over there thinking they're fighting for a fucking cause.
What are they fighting for? What are they fighting against?
Fucking shepherds! Shepherds with fucking...
Shut up about The Falklands.
- Why? - Cos I want you to.
There's fucking loads of dickheads dying out there for nothing.
My fucking dad weren't a dickhead!
What are you doing?
- Fuck off! Shut up! - What am I doing wrong?
Whoa, there, little one. What's wrong, mate?
- Tell me the truth. Come on. - I just fucking...
That's it. Go on.
My fucking dad died in that war!
- Your dad died? - Yeah. Get off!
- Fucking hell, mate, I'm sorry. - Fucking shut up about it!
I'm sorry, mate.
Fucking hell, I'm sorry, lad.
I'm sorry. I never knew he died, man.
Fucking hell.
Oh, look, mate, if I'd have known,
honest, I wouldn't have said, man, but what I'm telling you is the truth.
I can't lie to you. It's a pathetic war, man.
And you want your dad's life to mean something, don't you?
And this breaks my fucking heart to say it.
We shouldn't have been there.
She lied to us. She lied to me. She lied to you.
But, most importantly, she lied to your dad.
If you don't stand up and fight this fucking fight that's going on on the streets,
your dad died for nothing.
He died for nothing.
You've got to carry it on, man, in here.
In your little fucking heart, you've got the pride of your dad, man.
Fucking hell.
That little fucking whippersnapper has set the standard.
- Can you believe that, Banj? - You can't, can you, at that age?
Fucking hell.
What a gem.
What a fucking gem.
All right, look.
There's the line, boys.
That means you're all quite welcome to just leave
and leave now and never come back and that's it, the end of it.
But if you wanna stay,
this is a proper fight.
Now yous all either cross that line and go your merry little way...
...or you stay where you are and you come with me.
The choice is yours, boys.
Fucking hell! That was a bit quick, weren't it?
I ain't being fucking brainwashed, Combo.
Oh, listen to fucking Sigmund Void there.
You're well out of line. Well out of line, man.
Come on, lads, let's have you.
Come on, then.
Come on, Puke, mate.
Sit down.
You what?
Kes, just sit down.
No. No, you can't be serious, mate. We'll talk about this outside.
Kes, just sit down.
Puke, man, fucking come. What you on about?
Look, he's fucking right.
What can I do, man? Are you coming?
No.
- Gadge, come on, Tubs, man. - Fuck off calling me Tubs!
I'm sick of you, Woody.
This is why I'm staying, because you're always taking the piss,
making me feel that fucking big.
He's put things into perspective.
Look at the other night. You didn't step up once then.
Join me.
Milky, man, I know I let you down the other night,
but I swear to you I'll never fucking do it again. Look at me.
I'd never do it again. I swear to God I wouldn't, man.
You're my bro, man. What the fuck?